Noah Haidle’s Moving Masterpiece Birthday Candles is Beautifully Realized by the Lighthouse Repertory Theatre Company

Ernestine Ashworth celebrates her 17^th birthday with her mom Alice (Alissa Wexler) as per family tradition—a homemade birthday cake. In between anxiously wondering about her place in the universe, she excitedly recruits Alice in helping her rehearse for her school’s production of “Queen” Lear, and then takes an annual turn at the height chart next to the front door of their Grand Rapids, Michigan home. That height chart will be filled with names we’ll get to know over the next century, and we’ll spend pivotal moments of those years with Ernestine and family, but always accompanied by the unseen but always felt antagonist of Birthday Candles: Time.

The idea for Birthday Candles came to Noah Haidle after his friend’s eight-year-old daughter asked her mom if she thought she had wasted her life. That question is also Ernestine’s first line, directed at herself, and thus a profound question from a child led to a profound play.

We get to spend Ernestine’s birthday with her over the course of 90 years; every year she bakes that same cake, and is accompanied by a version of her goldfish Atman (Sanskrit for “essence,”) always sitting in a bowl on the kitchen table. It is noted that goldfish only have 3 seconds of memory before they “start over”, and the other characters wonder if Atman is better off that way, as the years and the memories wear them down.

Kami Crary gives a magnificent performance as Ernestine Ashworth, whose life spans “one hundred years and ninety minutes concurrently.” With no makeup and only very slight costume changes, Crary embodies Ernestine at 17 and 107 and everything in between so convincingly it’s astonishing. Her castmates complement her wonderfully, going on their own life journeys filled with both sadness and joy, sometimes in the same scene.

The 17-year-old Ernestine is aggressively but charmingly courted by Kenneth (usually played by Kevin Russo, but in this performance played by producer Tony Chiofalo, in a stellar “one-night-only” turn). However, she instead marries Matt (Rian Romeo), and they have many happy years together until tragedy leads to a devastating betrayal. But, it also means that Kenneth may have a chance with Ernestine after all, if he waits long enough…

An ominous tickling clock accompanies blackouts that depict time moving forward. Sometimes the scene is brief and humorous (like when Ernestine’s daughter goes from College Senior to College Graduate to Unpaid Intern in a matter of real-life seconds, or when Matt is seen to give Ernestine the same gift three birthdays in a row). But sometimes the circumstances are heartwrenching (one short scene is just of the characters sobbing). Most scenes are longer, depicting poignant life-changing turning points. The fact that Ernestine lives for over a century means that tremendous sadness and loss are inevitable, and this casts a backwards shadow over the events of her life, even the happier ones. Ernestine is determined to keep her loved ones alive through her rituals, even if it means breaking into the house that she no longer lives in to bake that cake one more time, a full century after the tradition began—much to the chagrin of new owner Beth (Julie Lorson) and to the amusement of Beth’s domestic partner John (played by Chiofalo). “Ernestine: Age Eternity,” she introduces herself with pride.

Shea James plays Ernestine and Matt’s daughter Madeline (Maddy), who later wishes to be called Athena, and finally “Anonymous.” She is a troubled soul who is existentially perceptive, lending a perspective that complements the transitory nature of life that the play so keenly demonstrates. Stephen Anastasia is Billy, who rebelliously criticizes his parents for settling and selling out, only to have the same charges leveled at him by his own daughter Alex (Stephanie Curley) decades later. Billy is a musician who is heard practicing the Beatles’ “Let It Be” (a fitting song for this play), and his rendition gets better and better over the years. Liz Spencer is hilarious as Billie’s girlfriend (and later wife) Joan, an anxious person who berates herself in the third person after every faux pas. Amanda Luong and Glenn McKay are Ernestine’s grandchildren Ernie and William, seen rehearsing “Queen” Lear decades after their grandma’s initial triumph.

Birthday Candles is a heartbreaker for the ages, but also incredibly funny; and it is a stunning celebration of all that matters, and a reminder that a life well lived and full of love is worth the tears. To paraphrase Ernestine, let’s all make a wish for “so many beautiful hours.”

Birthday Candles is directed with finesse and poignancy by Kate Russo. It is performed at the Merrick Theatre and Center for the Arts through June 29, 2025. The production benefits Birthday Wishes of Long Island, whose mission is to improve and empower the lives of homeless children and their families. To learn more, visit birthdaywishes.org.